SquareGirl’s Movie Trailer Reviews #4 (at least I think it’s #4)

Disclaimer: I ended up seeing like a cajillion movie trailers (okay maybe not a cajillion, but at least eight) so I will only review the ones I remember. And of course even those that I remember I may have forgotten important details. The titles for instance.

FUN FUR ALL

Get it? Fun “Fur” all? Hahaha. I never would have thunk of that! Needless to say, this trailer was about a bear, a domesticated bear in fact who lived in a garage and was named Boog (or something like that, and even had a doggie, I mean Bearrie bowl with his name on it), until one day a (sorry I have no idea what kind of animal it was only that it was voiced by Ashton Kuther) introduces Boog to the wild and then hijinks ensue. There are lots of furry critters eating wood and protecting themselves against hunters ETCETERA, ETCETERA.


THE ANT BULLY

Yes, another animated animal movie, because we absolutely cannot get enough of those I suppose. There is a boy and some ants who shrink the boy down to ant-size and an exterminator who the shrunk-down boy rallies the ants against and that’s all I remember before the next animal movie trailer called…

CHARLOTTES WEB!

Ta Daaaaah! WOW! Special effects have finally evolved to the point where we can now make Charlottes Web with REAL LIVE actors! And of course the fact that there is a girl under the age of thirteen in the book/cartoon/movie, we should all not be surprised that Dakota Fanning plays Fern. And Julia Roberts voices Charlotte (and by the way, I forgot to mention that she also plays a voice in THE ANT BULLY, which would be pretty unimportant except for the fact that she voices not one but TWO insects, assuming a spider is an insect which if I remember it isn’t, this summer).


THE ESCAPE CLAUSE

I think it’’s actually SANTA CLAUSE:3 The Escape Clause, but being that I never realized there was a Santa Clause 2, I’ll use THE ESCAPE CLAUSE as the title to this trailer. Anayways, Tim Allen as Mr. Clause again and Martin Short as Jack Frost who resents Santa’s popularity and attempts to usurp that, eventually taking advantage of the “Escape Clause” reversing time and discovering dead Santa’s body and becoming Santa instead of Tim Allen and to be honest I suppose you had to be there. Funny, because Martin Short makes me laugh for the most part.

Square's turning 33!

I tend to accumulate nicknames. Very few people who know me well actually call me by my real first name. And I say I accumulate nicknameS because I have several. In fact it can be very convenient because depending on what my friends call me reminds me of when and where I met them. In college for example I was initially “Alanis” (it was when Alanis Morrisette was popular…and no it wasn’t because I was an angry female or a singer), which became “Atlantis” which became “Space Shuttle Atlantis” or “Lost city of Atlantis” whenever I said something that made me sound, well, spacey. Or lost. I heard that one quite often. I was always referred to as “Atlantis” and often people were surprised when they found out that “Atlantis” wasn’t actually my name. I must make it clear that I have never CHOSEN the nicknames I’ve acquired (no, not even SquareGirl), but I learned it is best not to attempt to avoid them. Just sigh and accept they are a part of who you are, and then you can actually enjoy being say “Square” rather than try to convince yourself your actually cool.

Tomorrow is Independence day here in the good ole US of A and happens to be my birthday (I’ll be 33 so technically not a “girl”, but “SquareGirl” nonetheless) and for this reason and the fact that apparently I look like an all-American gal, I am referred to as “Miss America” by a specific group of friends. It is my least favorite nickname, but just as I’ve learned to accept my squareness, I’m coming to terms with it.

So Happy Independence Day to any American Square enough to be blogging today! And if you get a chance, light a sparkler in the name of all Squares everywhere!